Actions & Reactions

Yes, everything happens for a reason. But it's not for some great, grand scheme pre-planned by a divine entity. Every action is a reaction to some other action. We hold the power to shape the outcome of our own domain by influencing it. We will always do this anyway, so why not do it in a positive and beneficial way? Even NO action causes a reaction. So mold your own path, shape your own future, and take control over your own life. After all, not only you hold this power. Make it what you want it to be, not what it becomes because of the results of others' actions.

A lesson for the day, on day 29
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Do not be afraid to exercise wisdom. Reach out; act on things. Don't wait for life to happen. Make life happen for you. You have more power than you may realize to shape your future, and change your path, if you desire. Set your goals and work your way towards them. Don't dress for the job you have: dress for job you want to have. Apply this to your life. Take the wheel . . . and drive.

Now. Remember not to become so self-sufficient as to live in isolation!

Like the Yen and the Yang

Without Winter, there would be no Summer.
Without night, there would not be day.
Without darkness, there would not be light.
I pondered this thought deeply one day last week, as I was gazing at the moon. I remembered that the moon could not shine upon us if it weren't for the sun, shining upon it. Really, the moon is just shining the sun back on us. So, without the sun, the moon would not shine its face down upon us. They work in harmony. Each planet needs each other in some way: if not for warmth and light, then for balance and support.

In this way, they remind me of the Yen and the Yang: two integral parts that make up our night and our day.

Without death, there would be no life.
Is this statement true? If it is, it lends a most intriguing idea to my mind to ponder. Does this mean that, perhaps, there could be more spirit, life... soul.. within some people than in others? Or is it perhaps an endless, or overly abundant, resource?
If this was true, it would explain to me why I feel like so many people are so... well, mundane, if you will. One of the things I am working on is to try and feel more connected with such people, and perhaps to discover why I feel this way. Perhaps this is it. I'm not sure, but it's one theory.

A Year And A Day: Day 1

It was very nice until I had to go running, yes running, inside due to ants stinging my foot. Grrr! At first I thought maybe my glasses were playing tricks on me, but I saw the aura of the moon and the trees. I wish I could have sat there longer. The moon is so full and beautiful tonight.

Musings of the Day

I was talking with a co-worker today, and she shared some of her beliefs. I compared them to my own, of course. I think a lot of religions overlap beliefs, in ways they may not even realize, or want to acknowledge. And some of them just flat out refute anything that's not of their own - now those are the ones I have issue with.

Anyway, she is a Jehovah's Witness. I found it interesting to learn that she does not believe in a Hell, but does believe that there is a Devil. After death, some shall inherit the Earth, while only a few will reside where God does.

In comparison, this to me could be the same idea as reincarnation: by inheriting the earth, a spirit would be able to return to the earth with different lessons to learn, all the while being given its gifts. Only those who ever fulfil their cycle would move on to a higher plane of being, if they wished.

It bothers me somewhat to think that after death, my knowledge will be passed on, reabsorbed into the whole that is, yet I as I am right now will cease to exist forever. We are meant to enjoy life, grow and change and develop, and move beyond that which we could just muddle through life with. I feel like I have SO much life left to live. I may have found my purpose, in helping others, but I'm not entirely sure where that is currently integrated, or where it needs to be integrated, into life around me. I help people, but is it in the right ways? Do I help people challenge themselves and expand and grow? I don't know, but sometimes at least I do. I'd like to find a way to do this more. Help people help themselves. Did you know I selected Psychology as my first intended major in college? Heh. Even then, I wasn't sure where I was supposed to go. I ended up in technical support, and have stuck with Helpdesk work for the past 6 years, because it fulfils that need to provide help. I always find myself more fulfiled behind the scenes somewhere, helping things to more smoothly work together. A GM in the game environment instead of a player, but not the leader, though sometimes folks might feel like a GM is their leader. So taking on that makeshift role once in a while works too. Sometimes, if you lead, they will just start following. People are like sheep, and I don't say that just to be joking. Sometimes a situation needs somebody to just cut through the crap and find the bottom line, and point it out. That's me. If that means I am the one to do something about it, then so be it, though that's not the role I would otherwise voluntarily choose. :) Well, that's enough ramble out of me for one night.

Just an update

So, what am I doing differently now than I was before? Not much, really, except for recycling. (And that feels good!) I am about to do one thing I've wanted to do for quite some time: start an herb garden. I bought a book called "Mastering Herbalism" and have really enjoyed it. Food is the nourishment of life, and spices and seasonings bring such wonderful flavors to it. I can't believe what a difference the pinch of just the right thing, cooked the right way, makes! What does this have to do with spirituality, you might ask? Well, like I said, food is the nourishment of life. We consume plants and animals and transfer the energy from them to ourselves. That makes it pretty darned sacred to me.

I have fallen in love with Amazon.com. I have gotten quite a few new books lately, and am really enjoying reading them, and looking forward to getting into my newest arrivals!

PS. Plants are pretty amazing. Just look at all the wonderful things they can produce, out of just a bit of dirt and water. The only thing we can turn water into is pee. hehehe

These Words Are My Own (like 'em, or lump 'em)

I think I've found the meaning of life. The meaning of life is that everyone's life has its OWN meaning, and we have to discover it, and fulfill it. What, you didn't think the answer would be THAT simple, did you? The hard part is finding your purpose, your nitch, and living it. Do what you love, love what you do, and love every minute of it.

And here's a continuation on another thought I once posted. The thing with afterlife, I think, is this: when you die, your mind and body will cease to be... they'll be reabsorbed back into this physical world. Your soul doesn't; it's reabsorbed back into a greater whole. Your mind is that which connects the two. It's what gives you hints at what your life was like, or what you were like, or how you should have been.

I love it when things come together, naturally, on their own.

Many people seek out religion to fill a void in their life. But it's not like that. That only leaves me later feeling like I'm a square, crammed into a circular box, or something. I wasn't planning to seek out spirituality; it just found me, when the time was right. I had to become comfortable and confident with who I am, first. But I'm not seeking religion. Spirituality, to me, is entirely different. Rituals and practices are all great, but they're not what make people in tune with the spirit world. Some people need them to attune their thoughts, and that's fine. I just see such a division between needing to/having to, and just wanting to, because it's a way to celebrate how you feel. It's like going to church all the time, but you could only just say you were physically there, making the motions, but were not really being in tune with God.

On a related note, I watched the Mists of Avalon the night before last. I have been tempted to read the copy of my book, or watch the movie, so many times before, but for some reason I never did. Now I know why! It was not time. I had no idea about its Neo-pagan storyline that runs alongside the Camelot one. I always thought it was just about Camelot. Wow, was I pleasantly surprised! But more so at how I just felt the time was right. You have to learn to trust your insticts. I've said that for years.

One last thought that decided to spew out of my head (eww) while I was writing. :) When it comes to religion, I honestly feel that it doesn't matter what you believe, as long as you truly believe in something, and believe that it's right. If you just refuse to acknowledge or think about it or pretend to be something you're not, then you probably really haven't thought about it. If you have, then you're doing good. If you believe in accountability, then this should fit: I don't think you could ever be held accountable for believing in something and holding to it firmly, if you were mistakenly born into the wrong religion, lead down a different path, etc. You did what you thought was right, based on your life experiences, personal knowledge, and research of the various possibilities.

It's not just the little things

My last post was rather fragmented, and unfinished. This one might be too, but none the less, it's a continuation of the last:

It's not just the little things, either. I don't feel that we should live our lives to give up things, wait for some greater fate to guide our actions, or live in constant regret and apologies. I have said, for a long time, "Live or be lived." "Drive, or be driven." Are you in control of your own life? I accept that I have the ability to shape and form my own life and future, into whatever I want it to be.

I accept that there is just as much life and spirit in a plant, as there is an animals. For this reason, you won't ever find me as a vegeterian or vegan. I am just as thankful for every plant that I consume, as I am animals, because of the life within each. Haven't you ever marveled at the wonder of plant life? Didn't you ever sprout one of those little butter beans in a cup in grade school? Well, if you weren't too bogged down in memorizing all of the plant parts, you, like me, may have been fascinated at the life that springs fourth from that little seed into a plant, and the cycle of life that ensues thereafter. I love the trees, and the grass. They smell good. They feel good. They have a different kind of life than animals, but special none the less. Even water is a miracle. Aren't you grateful for a glass of that which our bodies are primarily composed of when you're thirsty?

Making a Choice to Move Forward

I want to write now about why it is that I think I am/want to be/should be a Wiccan. Sometimes I start to read books and things and start hearing the name Witchcraft, and start thinking about spells and circles and things, and my head begins to spin. So I like to stop and look at why I am looking.

First of all, obviously it's a lot more than rituals and practices. It's a way of life and a spirituality from within. When I look at what it means to be Wiccan, I feel that I already am.

I have always had a sense of consciousness about the earth and nature around me. I have always enjoyed being outdoors because of the feeling I get, and being around plants and animals. Sometimes I wonder if, as a kid, I would have been happier as a trout in a stream because I loved playing in the water and the dirt in the backyard (the ditch became a wonderful 'stream" after big rains!). In fact the only lifestyle change I have felt compelled to make was to begin recycling. It has always bothered me a lot *not* to, and I have not been able to find anywhere locally to take recyclables to. But I decided that it didn't matter - even if it means occasional inconvenience, I was going to start doing it, and afterwards I found a place that has begun taking collections locally! I couldn't be happier.

I had already began to consider alternate possibilities (from those which I was taught originally) such as life returning to the earth upon death, feeding back the knowlege we gained while here and going on to some other purpose. In fact the movie Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within really made me think about this a lot. I have never seen ghosts or experienced spirits, but others claim they have, and though I'd have to see to know and understand what it was like, I don't discount things of this nature. I don't begin to claim to understand why or how, but I accept that it is true, at least, that spirits exist in this realm, sometimes. I feel there is a lot that we will never know until after our life here ends, and aren't meant to necessarily, though we have our own opinions that probably aren't far from the truth. I do most certaily feel that there is something beyond our life here and now. Life itself is too much of a mirical to be a freak accidental placement by some big boom. Maybe the planets got here in a big boom - who knows how deity would create? I don't think I *need* to know or understand that. But the delicate, intricate, extraordinary creations upon our planet, our very planet itself, and our planet's place in the universe, to me, were unmistakably set into place by something greater than and beyond myself. So, I feel the call to this something, and I call it deity.

It's hard to consider this, when your first place to try and build fundamentals is in a Christian church, but I have felt for quit some time that the Bible is not necessarily the best source for information. I'm sure it was a divinely inspired book, and that it may still hold many truths, but men are prone to corruption, and I am sure that governments, kings, and men over the course of time caused words within this book to become astray. Besides that, times have changed, and it has not. So I think it should be taken with a grain of salt... or several. I don't like the idea that I should base my religion on a writing that man wrote. I feel the truths should come from within, after exploring and experiencing on your own.

Like anything in life, it takes the contrast between various things to come to your own conclusions. Accepting the defalts you are given, without thought or regard to other options, is the result of either not knowing, or not caring. Now that I know other avenues of spirituality, I could not possibly stay upon the same one I used to be on.

I find that, in the things I have been reading, that the basic fundamentals are the closest thus far to how I feel. I still have some things to think over, of course, to find what feels right to me, but I feel as though I have already been on this path for several years and just didn't know I was heading here. But, that's usually the way things happen, isn't it? What matters is to know where you want to be, and to work towards being there.

A Beautiful Moon

couldn't help but notice tonight how much the moon, large and golden, resembled the sun. At one point the clouds drifted past it in such a way to make it look even more so. A symbolic moment I captured on camera, though it really looks like crap. ;) All the same, wanted to post it to remember.


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Amazing things right in the back yard

I took 1/2 day off work today to go get my toe X-rayed. I whacked it last week and it still hurts. I've figured it was just bruised and didn't want to sound like a whiny cry-baby, but 10 days later and still tender to the touch, so I wanted to be sure. I don't like to take chances with my health or body.

So, I had the afternoon off.. whee!! Luckily for me, they were actually on time *gasp* or even early at the doc (shocking, I know!) and it's less than 2 miles from home, soooooo.... I have had time to do all those things that you know you put on the "I will do this when I get time someday" list, but are always too tired or busy to do. My pets are well tended today, lol! And I went out and around my house a bit because the temp was so nice today and I found the most excellent little nook I never even thought about exploring! I've been back there before, but never *in* there....

Then I found another little treasure in my front yard, hovering around the pond. A dragonfly! :D! I adore them so. It's not the first time I've seen one around there, but I was able to go out and snap some pics today. I even found a couple to add to my Scenic Gallery. :D



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Just to show you how close this is to my house, lol. And for size perspective.

And if you care to see what lies beyond my little nestled island of trees that almost makes me feel like I'm in the woods, click here and go to the last pic that shows the lastest construction monstrosity. :P


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A co-worker nick-named me Sunshine today. *giggles*

the end!

Ritualistic and Overstated, or Simplistic and Meaningful

I have been reading Cunningham, who puts things in a much more simple, down-to earth (so to speak) manner that got me to thinking, again. Now this is another one of my neophyte opinions, but bear with me, if you will. Another matter of much contention, from my bird's eye point of view, is that between the Coven Witch, and that of the Solitary Witch. Covens appear to believe that those on a solitary path aren't really following the real path. I guess you could compare it to how in Christianity, some feel you haven't truly accepted Jesus as your savior until you get baptised. Those Wiccans do not feel that the Wiccan solitaire is truly a Witch until they have accepted a certain path or following. To me this sounds too much like other organized church conventions that drove me away from them in the first place. I don't want to think that just because I don't do it one way, that means I'm doing it the wrong way. I also don't want to think that anyone can do anything at all they very well please and be doing everything right. Each person knows if they're doing what they feel called to do or not. But the under-educated person may be doing what they *think* is right just because they do not know enough yet. So I can see both perspectives. But the thing with Wicca is that it is no longer in the "broomcloset." It's right out there on every town's corner, right there in the bookshop on the shelves in that cute little section back behind all the other religion books, on the internet when you hop into the book shopping section, and a multitude of other learning sources I have yet to discover. It's not a big secret. You don't have to be in a coven to know the spiritual meaning that Deity wish to convey to you. But let me also say this, in the same thought's wave. In people, no matter what religion, it takes more to help some attune themselves to spirituality. For me personally, I feel that so much gets lost into the religion, and that the spiritual feelings are then not as strong, when one filters their spiritual life through so many big ceremonial rituals. This is why I never went to church when I was still trying to be a Christian. What they had to sell me wasn't what was in my head. But, I knew when I listened from within. You do have to take in enough information from the outside in order to form your own opinions and thoughts, and know how you feel. It does take some contrast in order to find the right definition. But for me, it takes a little less than it does for others. :)

The Goddess and the God

In all the "vast" (I say in jest) sum of my neophyte knowledge, I have a few thoughts to share. Actually, I often feel that someone who has not yet become fully immersed in any one path of anything, but has some knowledge, can have a lot of perspective on things that may otherwise have already become influenced by other factors in many. And.. some thoughts may be way off the path. ;) Either way, here are mine.

This subject seems to be a matter of contention amongst Wiccan readings that I have come across thus far. In the beginning, I read that both the Goddess and the God are really more of two aspects that represent one, sometimes referred to as "the All." I think this can be both confusing, and misleading. Humans were created in the image of deity, and this is of both female and male form. The two, put together, do make a whole. In the beginning, I took this to mean that the two were more like aspects of the one: it really seems to be an easier, more palpable way for the human mind, especially that of a newcomer, to get a grasp on duality when it comes to their God. But if the two form one whole, then really, those two halves are it: there IS no seperate one who these two represent. They are it.

Independance, Indeed.

I guess you could say that right now, I am a Seeker.

I found Wicca somehow after finally deciding it was time to satisfy the curiosity I've had about what it is. It is said that things happen when they should, and this was the case. It wasn't until recently that I finally decided to put together the ideas that I have come to believe throughout my life, on my own, through hearing thoughts of others, listening to what a few different Christan churches had to say to me, and listening to what I feel to be true.

I know that a person can't just ad-lib and make up faith as it suits them in their current life just because it's convenient. To do so would really not be following a religion at all. This is one reason why I feel it is important for me to identify with a religion again, and not just remain in a spiritual only, non-religious state as I have been, now that I feel I have found what speaks the truth to me. Also, I feel that it may not matter so much, in the greater scheme of things, if what we believe is 100% correct, because with so many paths to follow, how could only 1 be right and all the rest wrong? I think that what truly matters is that we seek for what feels the most right, and we adhere to it, and we truly live it and be it.

This path is the closest thing that seems to match what I feel. I believe the spirit of deity is within every person, and every living thing, and that spirit returning to the greater whole upon death. I really was not certain about the whole God/Goddess idea until more came to me. Humans were created in the image of God (and in saying God I mean as in the All). A man or a woman alone are really not complete without their mate to make them whole, down to their very souls (I can feel this one for myself). Therefore, I conclude that we constitute both the male and female aspect of God, the Lord and the Lady. The Father and the Mother. The Lord God our father, and Mother Nature herself, the Goddess of life. Also in regards to the bible, I am sure that it was written by an inspired hand and mind, but I sense much corruption of what the book may have originally said, by corrupt men and governments who intended to control and instill malleability and fear of not doing as instructed into people. I feel there are many outdated things -- it's actually safe to eat pork now, for example, thanks to the modern world's inventions -- and it can't all be followed as literally as it is, so I cannot follow a religion who follows this text in whole without leaving any room for question or doubt. Translations and who knows what else changed words over time before the integrity of data was protected in such ways as it is now (presumably).

These are my thoughts for the moment. It feels nice to be free of mind and spirit. I am thankful to be able to go out and buy books on alternate ideas such as these to learn from. I have a lot of reading to do, so goodnight! :) Time to go hit a chapter, or three.

Deity

The author of Wicca for the Rest of Us stated, (copy/paste of some highlights I want to ponder further)

"Wicca does not have a set pantheon.

Some Wiccans simply call their deities God and Goddess. Others invoke specific aspects from mythology. Some honor pantheons while others dedicate themselves to only a few. This is because the Divine can take upon itself infinite aspects and faces.

Following a god of a particular pantheon does NOT mean you are following their religion.

Know your gods, both in meditation and in study. Do not just go off books that list hundreds of deities with a couple sentences of explanation. This is an important reason for keeping to a limited number of deities - it allows a reasonable scope for study.

How you "see" your deities may or may not be how they actually exist. For example, I envision my god and goddess in distinctly human forms, and I see no problem with that. I simply believe that is not their true existence. It's very hard for most humans to form a relationship with something they think of as a big blob of divinity. But I, personally, really can't believe that the gods are actually confined to "bodies" that have two arms, two legs, and a head. Especially since they don't actually even have physical bodies. But we do tend to relate to them through such imagery."

I took an online Chakra test.

Your most positive energy is flowing from your Third Chakra

This chakra is located in your solar plexus, which is just below the breastbone. The third chakra represents one's ability to honor and accept the self. In your case, this chakra appears to be clear and unblocked so that positive energy can flow from it freely. Radiating positive energy from your third chakra indicates that you've cultivated higher wisdom concerning the important life lessons associated with this energy center. You're apt to treat yourself with kindness. You're also likely to forgive your mistakes rather than dwell on them unnecessarily.

Whether they're allowing positive energy to flow or preventing it from doing so, all seven of your body's chakras contribute to how you are feeling on a day-to-day basis. When they're balanced, you feel energized and at the top of your game. When they're unbalanced, you may feel tired or 'off'.

Finding A Name

I am having a hard time choosing a name to use. I want to use something which relates to my real last name's derivative, which broken down is Willow Ford. I am particularly fond of wisteria, mermaids and water, and for some reason raven keeps coming to mind, though in person the crow is really the bird I admire (I've never really been around ravens enough to know if I'd feel the same; only read about them). I am particularly fond of cats, but don't care to have anything feline related to my name.

Some notes:
‘Willow’ originates from the Anglo-Saxon ‘welig’ meaning pliancy.

In legend, the willow was regarded as the tree of enchantment. As the moon affected the tides, so the waterside willow became associated with the moon and its worship. It was used to bind the birch twigs to the ash stake on a witch’s broom and its medicinal properties and religious associations led to the name, ‘witch’s tree’. Paradoxically it was brought into the home to guard against evil. The Druids cut magical wands from goat willow to use as protective charms.

‘Burn not the willow, a tree sacred to poets’ The Song of the Forest Trees.
Supposedly Orpheus received his poetic gifts because he carried willow branches through the Underworld.

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Edit, July 6th. I think I will just stick with my online "handle" of Mermaiden. I have felt drawn to that name for enough reasons for this long, that there's no reason it should not stick now. I really don't need any reason to keep my religious preferences seperated from my regular online life. Offline might be a different story: I live in a place where people are very closed minded, lol. :X

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[Jun. 20th, 2006|06:07 pm]

Why Mermaiden?

I envision, much like my namesake (RL not online), a stream or a ford beneath an embedment of willow trees. My favorite colors, those of the ocean, and vibrant green leaves against a blue sky, surround the area. It is misty, and overcast, perhaps after a recent rain when the rich scents of the earth fill the air and the mild temperate climate caresses the skin. It is late spring; the wind is warm, but underneath the cool shade of the trees the wisteria is still in full bloom. A maiden by day, living beside the stream and the rocks, admiring the beauty of the surroundings, and a mermaid by night... legs dangling in the water, becoming one with it.

The ocean itself holds just as much beauty and wonder, yet is more violent at times. The stream is delicate and gentle, and subtly forceful within. The current is ever-changing, yet always there and the same.

I've never really thought about all of these things in one place at one time until I began to search why my mind produced the name Mermaiden for myself several years ago. It's like other thoughts that are in my mind, as well. They all came to surface in my conscious mind when I wanted them to. I wasn't ready to know before, but I understood and knew the time would come.

Oh no, here she goes about religious stuff

It didn't take me 30 years to decide that I never go with the default options given to me. It didn't take me this long to realize that my religious beliefs have always differed from those around me and those taught to me, and I have always questioned them, because why should the first thing I'm taught in life necessarily be the correct thing? Only people who have a narrow frame of mind, who never realize they have -- and can take -- the initiative to branch out in their thoughts, imho, stick to the defaults. Either that, or they just don't really care for whatever reason. It's different if you explore the possibilities of your options, and decide that something really is right for you.

But that's not what's happened for me. My parents sent me to a Baptist church. It didn't take me long to feel that I couldn't possibly stay bound to the title of "Baptist." "Christian" seemed more appropriate. There is a lot I have thought about through the years as I drifted in and out of things, and that I have recently wrote about to myself that I finally decided I had thought about for long enough, put together enough opinions, and etc., that I couldn't live with my old title anymore, either, as loosely as attached to it as I was. There was no particular action, thought, or other prompt that has lead me to this path. In fact, I find it really frustrating when people latch onto something just because it sounded cool, someone they know did, or it's the next best thing to come along. I feel that you really have to pool together all your resources and come to the culmination of your beliefs: the ones that you feel in your heart, and know in your mind, to be true and right for you.

And I don't know if I am ready to be bound by a new label. But then again, why does anyone seek out their beliefs, if not to put their energies into them and focus on them? "Physical form is ephemeral, and a basic religious impulse is to seek the permanent which is unaffected by change."

Profound thought for the week

The mind is the link between the body and the soul.

Learn to listen to all three...

Religion

Interesting. My results have changed again... I took one of those little online quizzes, because my mind has been aswirl as of late in putting together a lot of thoughts that make so much sense to me right now, in how they've made so little sense for so long. Does that make any sense? :X

According to the SelectSmart.com Belief System Selector, my #1 belief match is Neo-Pagan. What do you believe? Visit SelectSmart.com/RELIGION

Blah Blah Blah

Do you feel like you're in control of your own world, or that the world is in control of you?

Your answer to this question says a lot about your perspective and outlook on life. It might also say a lot about your karma, if you believe in such things.

Do what you do, and do it well.

We all have insecurities. But it is up to each of us to overcome these issues, and live for the rest of the positive ones.

You can find inner peace; it is right inside of you! All you have to do is seek it out, and it will come fourth for you. When all you have to do is close your eyes and exhale slowly in order to feel relaxed and enjoy a clear mind, you will know you have found it.

Let go of your worries. They won't let go for you. They will hold onto you, for as long as you hold onto them. Live and let live. Worrying won't change things: action will. Decide what things really bother you, and plan a course of action on how to cope or deal with them, or on what you could do to make positive changes to make the negatives more positive for you. Go out and live your life: don't let it live you! It's amazing what even small things can do to create a huge impact on your life, your mood, and your outlook on your daily life as well as long-term.