Focused Muscle Relaxation

I got so frustrated at my dad 2 nights ago that I told him he needed to learn how to relax. I was shocked and amazed that he didn't take it poorly. I know he has no clue how to do it, so when I came across a health tip on the Human Resources website at work today, it reminded me of this and I decided to do a little search. It lead me into some great articles at About.com that I'm printing off to give him. One section on Progressive Muscle Relaxation seemed to be lacking and I have better advice to offer, so I typed up the following. Rather than just delete the document when done with it, I thought I'd just paste my own little snippet below, for fun. :P Yes, yes.. I know... I have "fun" writing up help guides and documentation... sheesh, what is this world coming to... *snickers*

No, you don't have to do Yoga to gain all of the benefits. You too can do simple
Relaxation Technique
from home, at the office, or anytime, anywhere!

With practice, you can will your body to relax, just by the power of your mind. Close your eyes and sit, stand, or lie comfortably depending on where you are (you can do this anytime, and anywhere you happen to be). Exhale a long, slow breath, concentrating on clearing your mind and focusing on the task of deliberate relaxation. Then, begin focusing your concentration on your physical body, starting at the very top of your head, and rolling down, through the muscles in your face, lips, jaws, neck, etc., making a conscious effort to release any strainful position you may be holding onto, and relax all your muscles. Move your way down through your shoulders, arms, and hands. Then move down your chest, abdomen, stomach, and continue on down through your legs, to your feet. By the time you reach the bottom, every muscle in your body should be at ease, providing you with the perfect opportunity for relaxation.

By this point, you are now meditating, and you didn’t even know it yet! If you can sit still with a clear, relaxed mind like this for several minutes with your eyes closed, you will open them and feel refreshed and renewed, and free from stress.

Now, after you have achieved complete relaxation of the body, relax your mind. Focus on nothing. If you find that random thoughts enter your mind, acknowledge this, then let them go again to clear your mind entirely. This may be easier to do while listening to soft, relaxing (particularly wordless) music.

Try this anytime you feel tension beginning to build up. It is easy to clench your muscles and cause physical stress to your body – doing this can alleviate headaches, shoulder pains, and stomach, leg, or arm cramps, even, as well as a multitude of other stressful pains and tensions.

What is this, some kind of calendar advice for the year or something!?

Just get to the point. Cut to the chase; get past the filler; what's the bottom line? A clear understanding gives better perspective on any situation, and less room for misinterpretation, false assumptions, overexpectations, and the like. Knowledge is the key. Find out what you're working with first, then everything else can fall into place.

Why ask why? To better understand. Don't be afraid to ask rather than assume.

You can learn a lot without ever even asking. Just listen once in a while. And this doesn't always mean to listen with just your ears.

What is life without love? Merely existance as an incomplete half of a whole. Learn to love, and to be loved. Life, shared, is so much more fulfilling.

Drive or be driven. Live life, or let it live you. Don't be afraid to take the initiative and make changes. If you don't knock on opportunity's door, it sure won't come walking up to yours and put a free lottery check in your hand out of the blue. Do what you know you need to do.

Listen to your instincts; they're usually right. Learn to trust them. Your little inner voice knows experiences and knowledge your conscious mind may be too busy or stubborn to listen to sometimes, but your subconscious mind won't let you forget. Don't ignore what you know you should listen to.

Sometimes, you need to just open up your mind and heart, walk blindly into the future on a tightrope through a black hole, and then lend your attention to your experiences and knowledge: they will guide you forward if you let them, and nothing else will matter. If you set your sights on a goal, focus on it and work towards it consistently, you'll get there. It takes faith that you can obtain whatever you set your mind to, persistance even when it's tough, and taking the initiative to conquer whatever obstacles are between you and your goal. Every human is capable of this, but not every one is willing to believe it or do what is necessary. Live life, or let it live you? The choice is yours. Life is what you make it.

Learn from your experiences. Every situation in life presents an opportunity to learn something, either about yourself or others. You don't have to experience every situation to learn from it, either; just be observant, and pay attention to those around you, and their lives too. Learning about others teaches one much about themselves sometimes, too.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. What goes around comes around. If you're selfish and unyielding, chances are you'll miss out on receiving just as much as you fail to give. Learn how to be warm and open, thoughtful and caring, considerate and understanding, and others will return these favors to you, as well. Sometimes it takes a spark to start a fire. Show the initiative and be open first; don't wait for someone else to do it. Don't live in anticipation of the world around you. Make your own life happen.

Find out what you're good at, and do it well. Know and understand both your strengths and weaknesses. Don't be afraid to admit either of them, and don't try to fool yourself into believing that you can ignore either. You can paint a tiger black, hiding his stripes, but he will always have claws and teeth. He can learn to control or use those to his benefit, but he IS always going to be a tiger!

The older you get, the more you should know about yourself. Incorporate it into your life, your thinking, your actions, and your reactions. Know your strengths and weaknesses, and you will be able to work with or past them.

I don't really know that things happen for a reason. But I do know that everything that happens leads us to where we are. We build upon all our past experiences, both good and bad, as they make us into who we are.

Life Lessons

Things I've learned, or things I believe, that make life easier when kept in mind:
- Never expect a guy to change. If you're not happy with him the way he is, you'll never be happy with him. He won't change, and it's unfair to expect him to. Get used to this and accept it, or move on, while you still have time to decide.
- There is always a silver lining, if you make one. Focusing on what's positive instead of what's negative helps make life less stressful.
- Different is good. There's a definitely a line between different, and just plain weird.
- Listen to your instincts. You have them for a reason. They're almost always right. And you can never learn to trust them if you don't start trying at some point!

Things I've learned about Me that help me understand myself:
- I am different. And not just different, just like everybody else... who always somehow end up being exactly the same, in trying to be different. I don't try to be, I just am. It doesn't jive with everyone and I prefer it that way.
- I prefer smaller more personal groups of friends rather than large social groups.
- Always keep these in the medicine cabinet, and I'll be good to go: advil, neosporin, eyedrops, and lots of bandaids.
- Never put a perm in my hair again.
- Always do things, or at least make a note, when I'm thinking about it. Later I'll be far too busy or distracted or will have moved on to something else and won't remember!

What kind of person are you?

What kind of person are you?

Drive, or be driven?

Grab hold of the reigns and take control, or let the horse drag you along?

I guess you get the point already. But can you really compare these examples to your life, or to you as a person in your everyday way of dealing with life and its situations? Or how about your overall life, and the direction in which it is heading? I used to be the kind of person who just lived life, taking whatever may come. When I grew up, I realized that life doesn't come to you. You have to go and get it.

If you want something... really, really want something... you have to set your goals on it and decide what steps lie between you and your goal, and take them, one at a time. Noone can do it for you, and you will probably never accomplish that goal unless you keep it in sights.

You have to be happy with you before anyone else can ever be expected to be. You can easily have control and direction, confidence and ... well, I suppose just self-esteem in general, if you just make a decided effort. You can do all of these things without arrogence, spite, or other undesirable personal traits. Clarity of mind and spirit can leave you refreshed and open to new ways of thinking and understanding yourself and the world around you. Even if you don't believe in Karma in some shape, form, or fashion, it is a good practice to live by: treat others as you yourself would like to be treated, but don't ever let anyone take advantage of you.

Today's soapbox rant was brought to you by... no particular reason!

Observation of the day

"Before I can be more than what I am I must first know what I am."

I strive to be more than that which I've been handed. Not because what I've been handed is not good, but because I want to better myself and not fall under to the ways of thinking of my upbringing, simply because they are all I know. I want to learn, experience, and truly know for myself that the ideals and practices that I call mine are mine because they ARE mine, not because my parents or anyone else gave them to me. I refuse to be a common "Sheep" and follow the rest of the herd blindly.

I am not bitter in this quest. Sometimes others in my life may have become bitter as they realize I will stand up and be my own person, and not bend to their will (such as my father, and my ex), but this will not stop me. I will not be hateful, mean, or vengeful against people such as these. It really pains me to see youth react to this same situation in such ways. They become rude, crude, and just plain selfish. I am thankful that I did not boldly make this move during my youth, but instead have slowly developed my ideals and have meekly let them be known throughout my life as I have grown up. It may have delayed the inevitable in doing what we all must do, standing up and facing our parents when/if they don't like the way we do something. But maybe at least it gave us the chance to bond better than we could have under other circumstances, and it gave them time to accept changes as I have grown up.

I tried to be as gentle with them in this process as possible and they have chosen not to grow, change, or accept yet, but it's not my fault if they don't and I refuse to be held down by it. I now am the better person for learning, understanding, changing, and doing what is best for me. Sadly, you can offer this idea to others but you can't force them to accept it.
They'll get there eventually. They always do.